I have to admit that being part of the #coronabridetribe is not something I was at all expecting earlier this year as Jake and I began our wedding planning for both our Bali elopement and our post elopement reception in Chicago. I look at the photo I have hung on the fridge from our engagement shoot and I laugh because that girl had no idea what this season of life would actually have in store. I try to keep things positive on Instagram so what I have shared to date has definitely been the highs of the months leading up to our wedding. I decided that I wanted to write this post not only as a more detailed wedding update for you guys, but also because I think it’s important to keep things real.
Processing that we have little control in this situation and navigating through the ever changing restrictions for Chicago and travel has truly been the hardest part of this entire journey. I kid you not, we went through the stages of grief over this. NOT that I was sitting at home legitimately grieving my wedding falling apart throughout quarantine, but the stages of grief were certainly experienced. I can tell you that in March right after my office closed down, I remember sitting at the kitchen table designing our reception invites thinking things will definitely be back to normal by summer and we will have no issues with our plans. That would be denial. Anger, over having waited years to finally take this step forward as a couple only to have our original plans ruined by things outside of our own control. Sadness, when we finally lost hope in Bali reopening in time to US travelers for us to be able to get married under that waterfall that I had spent years dreaming about for my someday. Then finally acceptance. This last stage really only settled in once we finalized our new plans. Now that we have a new dream elopement all planned out and we are officially only 4 weeks away from our actual wedding date I am definitely more excited and have more faith in this actually working out for us after all of the stress and re-planning!
We were struggling as a couple to make the right call on what to do. I can’t stress enough that making the “right call” looks different for every couple in this unprecedented situation. There were so many factors to consider like; would it be reckless to throw a celebration during these times, the cost implications that came with canceling Bali and planning a new elopement rather than waiting a year, canceling or downsizing the reception, having to un-invite family and friends that we wanted to celebrate with. Being in this situation is NOT easy. It takes a strong couple to tackle this! We knew one thing at the end of the day, we really didn’t want to wait for our original plan to be possible. A dream wedding was not more important to us than getting married. This principle is ultimately what led our decision making and our willingness to adjust to the circumstances as they presented themselves.
The first serious decision we had to make was around what we were going to do about our reception in Chicago. We had to make a decision by mid-June on if we were going to cancel, postpone, or downsize our original guest list of 102 down to 50 because that was when the final deposit was due. In May I reached out to our venue proactively to see how they were handling the situation. They let me know that they would connect with us closer to our date and move our date if needed but could not yet provide us with options because they were prioritizing all of the weddings that were being impacted before ours. They also had the mindset that things will be fine by October.
Our fear was ultimately being on the hook for a reception for an elopement that was not able to take place due to travel restrictions. Even if Bali was possible it didn’t make financial sense for us to host a party for 50 people for what the loft space was going to cost for the night. Ultimately Jake and I decided to send an email to the Loft requesting to connect and discuss our options before paying the final deposit. I had heard stories about venues only offering Wednesdays and Thursdays in 2021 to postponed couples so we didn’t feel comfortable continuing to pay without a plan B set contractually. The loft responded saying that we did not have to pay the final deposit until they were able to discuss a plan B with us. So we left it at this for the time being and were happy that we had a little more time to see how the situation unfolded.
We waited patiently to see what was going to happen with Bali’s reopening plan but around late June they rolled out information that was enough for Jake and I to know that our Bali elopement was no longer possible this year. We immediately started looking at what our options were at that moment in time for both international and domestic elopements. We made a short list which of destinations that were an option at that time. They included Greece, Sedona, Utah, and San Diego. I started my research and planning from scratch once again. I looked into permits, photographers, designers for all. I swear I really feel like I’ve planned seven weddings at this point. Ironically I had booked a trip with a friend to Sedona right before the news of Bali’s reopening plan was rolled out and so it was perfect timing because I would get to go visit and see if it would be something that Jake and I would love as an elopement destination. Truthfully looking at photos of all of the Cathedral Rock elopements I had Sedona as my number one. I had a blast doing the Cathedral Rock hike, but as much fun as I had, I knew that this wasn’t how I wanted to spend my wedding day. I went back to my hotel room feeling a little defeated and texted Jake that Sedona was a no go. As I waited for him to reply I was targeted for an article about Tulum’s reopening plan that was set for July. I immediately texted Jake with what I had read and he said I thought about Tulum last week but saw that they were still closed. I knew right there and then that Tulum was our new elopement! We had visited last year for Jake’s birthday weekend and loved everything about it! Tulum has very similar to Bali from what I’ve heard from those who have been to both. It is a very spiritual destination just like Bali, with boho vibes, amazing food, and beautiful beaches! We were both so excited just from that initial conversation. It felt right while everything else we discussed felt like we were settling in a way.
While I waited at the airport for my return flight back to Chicago I quickly did some research on Instagram for an elopement designer/planner and sent her a request for a quote. I circled back with an adorable photographer/videographer couple from AZ which I had requested quote from for our potential Sedona elopement and asked them if they would be interested in joining us in Tulum. They said YES! As soon as I got home Jake and I booked a beautiful villa overlooking the ocean at La Valise. Anyone that knows me knows that I LOVE boutique luxury hotels and this was a bucket list stay for me. I was thrilled and I felt like everything was coming together so quickly and so effortlessly.
Once I returned home from Sedona, I visited our reception venues website to find a photo I wanted to share with my mom and I noticed that they had a new package that they were advertising. The loft was now offering a Micro-wedding venue package for up to 50 guests for the price of our original deposit. It would have been excessive at the original rate for a smaller guest count but now it was feasible. After talking about it and thinking on it for a day or two we decided to reach out to the loft and move forward with a reception of 50. They had no problem with this since it would allow them to sell a date next year that would have otherwise gone to us had we postponed to 2021. The question I have gotten asked the most is “was it hard to cut down your guest list to 50?”. The truth is that it was a hard decision to make to do so, but once the decision was made and we looked at our guest list and it was obvious who our 50 nearest and dearest are. We have very small families, and Jake’s extended family who would have had to travel from Canada wouldn’t be able to make it anyways due to current travel restrictions. This made the 50 person limit a realistic option for us. Jake and I truly never wanted a big wedding so the thought of a more intimate night where we are able to do even more for our most immediate support system just seemed even more appealing to us. The hardest thing was just going to be having to un-invite our extended family. All of this decision making took place in late June/early July shortly after Chicago moved into phase 4 of its 5 phase reopening plan where gatherings of 50 were once again allowed.
The most recent curve ball that we was thrown came early August. I received a text from our wonderful Tulum wedding planner saying she had to talk to me ASAP and it was about our Mexico Villa. I called her and she shared with me that our Tulum Villa had caught on fire the night before. She didn’t have all the details on the damage just yet and didn’t know if it would or wouldn’t be possible for us to stay there come October but that she wanted to keep me up to date. I couldn’t help but make a joke in the moment that La Valise probably caught on fire because we wanted to stay there. This process has really felt like we couldn’t catch a break. After seeing a photo of the damage surface on Instagram we knew that we had to book a new Villa or Suite ASAP! We ended up booking a beautiful Suite at another boutique hotel only a few properties down.
In August we found ourselves at the end of the road for the “wait and see” stage when it came to the Chicago reception. I revised and ordered or reception invitations which I mentioned that I had designed back in March before things really evolved and I honestly hesitated to send them out. I was afraid that the second that I put them in the mail that we would get notice that we were reverting or that our venue was flooded or something bizarre. We also designed un- save the dates to send to our friends and family explaining the situation. Everyone has been so understanding and supportive honestly. It’s eased the slight guilt I’ve had around the situation just a bit.
It’s now September 5th. We are exactly one month away from our Tulum Elopement and 6 weeks away from our Chicago Micro-wedding reception. No one really knows how this is going to play out just yet. I’m really hopeful about Mexico working out for us but there is a little more uncertainty around our reception at the moment. There have already been 2 counties in Illinois which have reverted back to only allowing gatherings of 25 due to Covid spikes. It’s been a journey with many highs and lows and lots of what if dwelling, but at the end of the day we are just so excited that we are actually getting married this year! Being in the situation has truly put things into perceptive for us on what mattered most here. It’s very true that through ciaos comes clarity.
If you are a corona bride reading this, just know that whatever decisions you make or made, your day will be amazing once it finally comes! My biggest piece of advice is to choose to be flexible if you are going to attempt to plan a wedding during these crazy times. Find happiness in the highs and don’t let the lows come in between you and your fiance, and make all the big decisions as a team. If things do not work out how you originally planned it’s not the end of the world because you will have each other!
